My Story

I grew up with very severe ADHD and depression, and I was medicated for many years; the only time I ever felt happy was when I was active; 15 years later, I discovered that ADHD is a lack of dopamine; when training, I found an increase in dopamine was the reason for this... pure joy.

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I didn't feel like I could control much until I found working out; it's the most solo sport in the world, it's all competition with yourself, but in the same breath, there is nothing competitive about it at all - I gained a sense of control over something. It's partly due to my own chaos and the world's chaotic nature, but it's something no one can take from you. And it teaches you so much.

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Being strong is bigger than aesthetics; in fact, it opposes aesthetics; being strong is a result of overcoming issues you see in yourself, not seen by others for the most part; it builds a huge amount of self-confidence and rational. Injuries teach you not to be careless, and consistency teaches you reward; the journey is truly beautiful.

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I remember chasing 100kg on a bench press; it seemed impossible, "My arms are long, so the bar has to travel further than this guy", "My genetics don't lend to this",…. I worked incredibly hard to achieve it and didn't think about the 100kg much. I thought about the process of getting better at the technique, about how best to eat to get stronger mentally and physically. I thought about the gym as my place. I was alone and not judged at all. 2 years later, I did it alone. No one saw or celebrated, and I didn't video it. I just felt fucking great. A year's work… it didn't give me anything (noticeably) physical, it didn't make anyone treat me differently, and once I'd done it… I carried on, "120kg would be cool"… it's all about the process and the knowledge of progress; there is no promotion, no final goal, no leaderboard… just you and that hour or so a few times a week.

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It taught me so clearly and immeasurably that I could do something seemingly impossible. I carried this into my home, job, and sense of ability or capability, and I progressed far beyond the gym with this affirmation.

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The lies around fitness are disturbing, and it, as always, is because of money. It's obvious when you see what sells are things like sweating and being sore the next day, all terrible markers of a good workout. It works in the short term; then your metabolism is messed up, you fall off, put on weight and then pay the same company again because "it worked so well last time"… no it didn't (unless, of course, you wanted to be in shape for a week then revert). What is happening is you are slowing your metabolism every time making each time more difficult. 

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No one wants to be in great shape for a week! This sale works because training the correct way takes time; it's a gradual improvement of happiness, aesthetics, health and sleep rather than an immediate confirmation of sweating or hurting, equalling work. This approach will mess with your hormones and central nervous system and make you too tired to carry out everyday activities, not to mention having to eat less or run/HIIT/spin more every week to chase that metabolic fall. 

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Do it the right way, and it gets easier and easier over time, not harder and harder. After a good session, you should feel better than when you went in, you should be able to train again the next day if you want, you should sleep better, and you should be in LESS pain. Build a body that burns calories and moves well, not a body that wants less calories and feels dreadful. 

Some information that is far too rarely YELLED: 

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• Doing loads of cardio sends a signal to your body to get lighter… The easiest way to get lighter is to get rid of muscle. You have to eat less and less over time to maintain the same weight.

• Resistance training sends a signal to get stronger and build muscle, thus increasing your metabolic rate. You have to eat more and more over time to maintain the same weight.  

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Think of it this way; muscle tissue is more expensive than fat tissue, the currency is food. It is a win-win. 

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So ignore boot camp, ignore spin classes, ignore all the marketing around "the burn", sweating, soreness… It's just simple marketing. You get something you can immediately feel for your money. 

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Athletes are NOT the pinnacle of health, they are the pinnacle of performance, and they are two very different things. More is not better, and less may be worse; there is no one size fits all, and there is no wrong way to train. We are all sublimely unique.

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After many years of football, rugby, climbing, skateboarding, and then into callisthenics, powerlifting and gym-based hypertrophy work, I built a solid all-around practical knowledge of my body. I became fascinated, so I went on to study science and other people's bodies. This led to becoming a pre and post-natal PT, then studying mobility, injuries, etc. Obsession, which is how I've always been, I cannot work on anything I do not want to, but I can give more focus than most on something I do want to focus on. This is another symptom of ADHD; it's awful in school or when having to fill out a form, but it's bliss when playing a game or learning a skill you love.

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I learned to ride a bike in a day, it was a 16-hour day which resulted in various injuries from concussion to stitches, but I did it because I wanted to. I did a 12-week handstand course in 3 days in lockdown. That's how my brain works. It gives me a real one-up on many PTs; I have incredible empathy for people wanting to train but do not exercise. I understand what it's like to have absolutely no drive to do something to the point of total paralysis. I have a client playing video games on one leg to sort out an instability; a 65-year-old signed up for bouldering and now goes three times a week, and their shoulder problems have disappeared.

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I've been a PT for 12 years and always strive to learn more, both from my studies and every new client. Be it getting people past an injury, getting people comfortable in a wedding dress, or helping people gain some control in a world where that feeling is seemingly rare.

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We are built to move, and it's fucking hard to move with any meaningful regularity. Desks, cars and sofas are out to ruin us, and they're winning. Our hormones, organs, peers, lovers and mornings all suffer because of this. Movement is an essential part of humans; without it, systems shut down.

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For so many, exercise is better than any drug, diet, or therapy, no, this is not the case for all, but if you let it take you in, it will give you more than you could ever know. Ask anyone in the gym 3 or 4 times a week for a few years why they do it. None of them will say because they are trying to get in shape or be physically healthy.

Please, move more and watch life improve. You may not feel it at first, and you certainly won't understand why I or others talk like this, but give it a chance and commit to the process, not the destination, and you'll see.

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"When?" When you accept the process over the goal.

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Goals will then come in abundance.